In the Garden

There’s a community garden in my neighborhood.  Last year, I’d walk by it and consider what I would plant if I had a plot in it.  This year, I’m weeding in the heat, watering after 100 degree days, and wondering, “What the heck is going on with the tomatoes?”  I’ve never really gardened before, but as I learn, I remember more and more of what my grandmother has told me about plants over the years.  The garden is doing well, despite the odd weather we’ve had this year.  I am really enjoying gardening, even though it’s hard work.

Hoopdance

We found them near the Summer Solstice,  spinning fire to the sound of drums.  My friends and I were in Forest Park walking aimlessly and quacking at ducks when we heard the unmistakable sound of a drum circle.  We followed the sound to the Grand Basin.  There we found the hoopdancers.  There were people spinning staff.  There were people spinning poi.  There were people dancing with hoops.  I have two hoops now.  I’m learning very slowly, but I’m learning.  In the next few months, I’ll be trying to learn to do what I saw in the park, so that I can join them next year.

In Chains

In my neighborhood, there is a Nativity. The homeowners fear for the integrity of their tableau, so the figures have been secured. Chains looped around their necks are pulled taut, then staked to the earth. Figures kneeling in silent supplication send prayers to Heaven, bound in chains. The Christ child is bound as the others are. He alone struggles. Arms and legs akimbo, the child strains against the bonds that his mother, his father, the wise men and the sheep all accept without complaint. He will be free. His freedom, however, will not bring freedom to all. He can only inspire. The others must choose to break their own bonds and join him, or they will choose to remain forever in chains.

National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day. In the wake of several well-publicized suicides of our LGBT youth, the continued fight for marriage equality, and the nearly total shut-down of the repeal of DADT by the GOP, I’m listing these lovely links to some organizations that can help make a difference for those who are LGBT and our straight allies. First is the Human Rights Campaign, which “…envisions an America where LGBT people are ensured of their basic equal rights, and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.” Next are The Trevor Project and It Gets Better which assure LGBT youth that life gets a shit-ton better after high school and encourages everybody to hang in there.

Rarely does any great amount of time go by without me thinking about Matthew Shepard. His death had a powerful impact on me. It really brought home that there are people out there who are so threatened by homosexuality that they will kill out of hatred and fear. In his honor, his family set up The Matthew Shepard Foundation, dedicated to erasing hate.

Visit some of these sites, donate if you can. Celebrate how far we’ve come, and be keenly aware of how very far we have yet to go.

Sassy Gay Friend: Eve

See? I’m already posting more often!

A Very Long Summer

It was a very long summer. My visit to the hospital was posted here, but in June I also had my Vespa stolen from where it was parked outside my house. It took until August to get it back, get it fixed, get the insurance figured out, replace the license plates, and get to riding it again. In short, the summer was jam-packed with craziness, not all of it good, and I really haven’t posted too often. However, now that it’s September, and I feel like things are settling down, I will try my best to post more often. I promise.

My Night at the Hospital

Yesterday, at work, I wasn’t felling very well. I was nauseous, I was lightheaded, my left arm was tingly, I was short of breath, and there was pressure in my chest. I had an ambulance called, and I went to Barnes Jewish Hospital to be checked out. I was hooked up to an EKG in the ambulance. My heartbeat was irregular in the ambulance, skipping between about 70 beats per minute and 110, but by the time I got to Barnes, it was normal. Barnes’ EKG showed no irregularity, and it showed I hadn’t had a heart attack. I was very happy about that!

However, given my symptoms, the nice doctors at Barnes did want to run a lot of tests. For that, they had to get 4 vials of blood out of me. I have small veins, and they tend to roll. Which is why today, I’m still covered in bruises. They could barely get any blood out of me at all, and they even resorted to trying veins in my hand and my thumb to try to get the blood they needed. They did finally mange to get all they needed for testing, but not before making me scream in pain more than once. When they ran the tests, the D-Dimer test was positive, which means I was positive for a substance in my blood that occurs when a blood clot breaks down. That won me a trip to X-ray and a CT scan.

For those of you who haven’t had one before, a CT scan isn’t terribly frightening as a concept. The technicians run you through a donut-shaped machine which runs X-rays through you to get images of your organs. Sounds innocuous, right? It’s not. In order to get good pictures, it turns out they have to inject you with a contrast-dye, which runs through your veins like liquid fire, rushing through your body, and causing you, if you’re me, to convulse and scream in agony. It was like nothing I’d felt before, and I’d prefer to never have to feel it again.

CT and X-ray results turned out negative, as did a follow up blood test. If I had a clot, and I think I must have had one in order to have caused the first positive result on the D-Dimer test, then it had broken up and gone away. The doctor at Barnes said it could also have been a random arrhythmia. I find the clot scenario more likely, as I’ve been having swelling in my ankles lately, which is an indicator that one is at risk for clots. I got out of the hospital late last night. I am still tired and sore from the experience, though the fatigue is probably more emotional than physical. I have a follow up appointment with my regular doctor on Friday to see what to do next. Meanwhile, my plan is to stay well-hydrated, move my legs often, try not to stay still for too many hours at a time, and take one aspirin each morning, as I feel that one aspirin a day can’t really harm me. I will be doing all I can to try to keep this from happening again.

The Doors (or a very reasonable facsimile)

I’ve known my friend Nik for nearly 20 years now, and back when we met, one of the biggest things we had in common was a love of The Doors. Jim Morrison died three years before either of us was born. John Densmore has quit playing with the rest of the band and is in constant litigation with them. But Ray Manzarek and Robbie Krieger have kept on touring.

Tonight, Nik and I went to see them for the second time at the VooDoo Lounge at Harrah’s. The first concert we saw was while they were in their incarnation as Riders on the Storm. They played at Pop’s over on the East side that year, and they had Brett Scallions, of Fuel, singing with them. It was an amazing show. Manzarek and Krieger can still rock! This year they had Miljenko Matijević singing. In my opinion, he was a better performer than Scallions, but both singers actually did an amazing job with the music. This concert was just as excellent as the last. If they are ever in town again, you can be sure that Nik and I will be there.

Just Another Day

I’ve been on an Oingo Boingo kick lately. So, my dear readers, here is the radio edit of Just Another Day. Enjoy!

Thirty-five

On April 22, 2010, I turned 35. I have some mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m still quite young. On the other hand, I’m also quite different from who I expected to be by this point in my life. I suppose no one’s life ever turns out how they planned it to be.